I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
