dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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