it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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