I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
