There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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