seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
