That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize