I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
