Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
