He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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