I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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