No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I have post one night stand depression
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