In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
