problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
