You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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