My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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