I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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