is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize