probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
