Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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