I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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