I'm gonna have a badass scar
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
