I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
