The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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