Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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