Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
