My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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