Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
