It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
