the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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