just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
