No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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