I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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