my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
