I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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