I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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