What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
