I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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