now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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