Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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