I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
