We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
