and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
