I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize