if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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