Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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