Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
