when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
