I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
