If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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