Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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