He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
