My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
