No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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