Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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