I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
smell my finger.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
