new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
