u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
